10 days passes by so fast especially when im in my last weeks of school.
overall good trip im glad i came i just wish it was better planned. reunited with cousins i havent seen in years. it made realize how much closer i am to my cousins that live across the world compared to the cousins that live in cities closer to me.

something i didnt expect is i thought a lot about a cousin that passed a couple years ago. he was fr the best and the sweetest. i didnt realize how much i missed him until i was in my uncles house and i just started to think about all the memories we had with him.
hed always make time for us, take us to the movies get something to eat and wed spend time together.

damn even writing about this now i want to cry.
this i guess was my wake up call that grief fr never goes away just lingers. i know ill always remember him and ill always think about where he would be now.
he has a niece ! and shes so cute ik they wouldve been joined to the hip.

i also wish i could see my grandma more often she's kinda bound to where she is taking care of my great grandmother which also made me cry. i still can't imagine living to 100 years and there she is maybe not the most mobile but shes alive and cognitive enough to recognize her grandchildren that in itself is a lot. i got a taste of what it was like to take care of her and i wish i could help my grandma out more :(

all this to say i might move to the eu one day but for now
na is also home. im just lucky i can call two places home
maybe my heart isnt small but big enough to fit in two places :)

maybe ill come back in the summer for a few weeks.