Prologue
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Being hunted feels like running from something alive
danger, responsibility, truth, or change
that’s too quick to ignore
too close to fight
Being haunted is different
It’s quieter
It’s when what’s gone
refuses to stay gone
The field becomes the mind
and the chase never ends
it just moves indoors
Can’t tell if i’m running from my past or running from my future.
Battling between what I once knew and new thoughts of uncertainty.
—
Poem
—
Tangled in my own thoughts
I can’t catch my own breath
I’m on the run
but not sure from what
—
Tracks fade before I notice them
Something’s trailing
maybe me, maybe memory
—
It’s hunted vs haunted in my head
a quiet war with no witness
The past painted with pain
with people I can’t name
with stories that must go untold
battling the future unknown
the uncertainty of how life goes
—
The past growls low in the back of my mind
its echo crawling down my spine
The weight settles quiet and cruel
haunting the spaces I thought were full
—
I move through rainy days
and smoke like fog
drowning my emotions
the drugs won’t get me far
I run until my lungs grow weak
breath tasting like regret
—
No fear left
just instinct
I don’t flee anymore
I circle, I strike
hunted vs haunted alive in my chest
testing who blinks first
—
Hunted or haunted
if it lives in my mind
how do I run from it
How do I hide
from something I’m unsure of
—
Who’s going to flinch first
me or me
The one standing on God’s green earth
or the one made up in my mind
the one I can’t catch
in my dreams
or in the mirror
—
Still
I rise through it
—
I don’t fear the realities
that live in my mind
I just deal with them
—
Hunted, haunted, hurting, hardened, holding, hoping
going through hell to find home
but still here, happy, healthy
with my heart open, honest, and almost heroic