l'm up at 4am recalling my bad decisions
Sink or swim, I'm backstroking with such precision
I come to me for answers, I'm the head of my own religion
Too many premonitions and visions of demolitions
Please save all the stupid questions-
Bitch I bought it cause I liked it, Not because of a brand name or because it was more expensive
And these days l think i’m Vigil just much more attentive
I always read the room and then i leave first cause I pay attention
His whole friend group imploded, there were signs but he didn't get it
Who else can say they’re proud of what they’ve made?
Who else can say they’re proud of the person they became?
I look around and i only see wannabes & lames
I glance around and I see my parts' been well played
Reality checks the only time them niggas getting paid
Trust nobody, I seek God when in need of aid
All the spots secure, there's no rumors of a player trade
And you guys will see I never cared about a letter grade
Numbers run the world, plenty dividends in my brigade
Checking the history & all the data is saved
All your lies coming to light, when it’s only honesty i craved
I always knew you were a dog but i hate when you misbehave
Free but to you I’m enslaved, i always stay
I’m up at 4am recalling my bad decisions
Because in the heat of the moment, we tend to act on empty thinking
I operate while drunk, I love to hear the glasses clinking
You operate on lust, you worried about our bodies linking.
You rather hoes than women that over-driven
I might’ve forgot what you said but you are never forgiven.
Ask God for forgiveness.
If we fucking, what you do on that phone is absolutely my business.
You picking hoes over me, aint that an illnesss
No, cause look at me
How you act is a choice, this aint nothing new we on year 3.
You made me into a person, I never wanted to be.
When you move, its about you and never we.
You showed me your true colors a while ago but now I can see.
Im up at 4am recalling my bad decisions.
Light off, phone dim, replaying all our last collisions.
Dressed in shadows, got regrets on every seam,
Fingertips trace the outlines of my shattered dreams.
You ain't gotta tell me twice, I saw it in your stance,
You say that you love me, but you just love what’s in my pants.
I was born in the trenches, baptized in my own mistakes,
But you? You just a tourist in my world, tryna learn the game too late.
I built my kingdom out of losses, turned my pain into a throne,
And yet somehow, with you, I still felt alone.
So let me make this clear, before the sun kills the night,
Don’t act like a victim, don’t make me your past, and I ain't an oversight.
I walk away whole, heavy with lessons but never with doubt,
And next time I call at 4 AM? It won’t be to talk this out.
I hope you taste the regret like whiskey on your tongue,
Hope the silence in your room feels like a loaded gun.
4 AM ain't just an hour, it's a reckoning call,
And this time, I ain't answering at all.
I’m up at 4am recalling my bad decisions
Dark thoughts creeping in, I’ve got no inhibitions
Mind running laps like it's built for competitions
Staring at the ceiling, drowning in suspicions
I played my role, but now I'm done with auditions
You a rerun, same script, same repetitions
Told myself I'm finished, still stuck on revisions
Hoping time erases all these premonitions
I'm up at 4am recalling my bad decisions
My patience wore thin, now I got tunnel vision
I move with purpose, every step got a mission
Everything loud, but you mute my position
Thought you were real, turns out you were fiction
Now I rewrite the plot, cut you out with incision
I'm up at 4am, but the sun's gonna rise
This ain't a love song, this ain't a reprise
Ain't waiting on closure, ain't hoping for ties
I built me a kingdom, and you ain't inside
A story of lessons, a chapter that dies
Burning the pages, no need for goodbyes.