a kiss of death
your lip stain bleeding down the wine glass,
my whole body baptized in fear.
i won’t accuse you,
won’t put a name to the danger,
but we both know what time it is
—
your lips give me a boost
a hit stronger than anything i could pour or inhale
level my tolerance like you’re resetting me from the inside out
the moment your lips meet mine, something in me snaps
a shiver down the spine,
a rush behind the ribs,
a slow, burning surrender
your kiss throws my pulse off rhythm
my breath stumbles
my mind goes beautifully blank
it’s reckless the way your lips claim me
reckless the way i let them
as if danger feels sweeter when it’s written into the kiss we share
—
kiss of death
my mind remembers the shape of your lips before my body even moves
the soft graze of your tongue feels like a warning
not disguised
not softened
just danger in its purest form
and i let it
i always let it
it keeps me alive
not the way God gives breath
but in a way that makes every nerve, every vein, every pulse tremble for the next burn
it is a fire that devours and seduces
the thrill that coils through my chest
whispering: i am here, i am not gone
the kiss of death becomes my lifeline
a dangerous grace
a divine chaos that reminds me i am still living
even as i burn, even as i ache
—
but the same lips
the ones that make me sweat with joy
that burn through me like fire
now bite, whisper, speak
turning ecstasy into ache
pleasure into tears
i cannot tell where i end
and where your cruelty begins
—
and i’m still falling
even knowing i’ll never land
to ache, to need, to crave you
feel your lips, hear your voice
and be hurt by both
but still want the noise
—
and i realize i’ve been addicted to the danger all along
it pulls me in and drags me down
but i find power in playing in the fire
like i’ll burn, but it’ll never kill me
—
your lips taste like a secret i shouldn’t know
your bite leaves a trail i cannot resist
and your words carve into me
each syllable a sting i both dread and crave
the absence of your lips leaving me raw
fragile, yet still reaching
—
you are poison i swallow willingly
hoping it’ll taste like salvation
not the quiet prayers whispered under stained ceilings
not the absolution promised by holy hands
but a divine chaos
a dangerous grace
a flicker of God in your cruelty
that reminds me i am still alive
even as i burn, even as i ache
a fleeting reprieve in the chaos you leave behind
a sweetness in the ruin
a fire i can chase without dying
—
you are both the blade and the blessing
betrayal and undressing
pleasure and punishment
all tangled in the bed of sins we made
where every touch cuts
every whisper burns
and still i return
drawn to the edge you carve into me
—
i have come to know you
danger disguised as intimacy
your presence lethal and addictive all at once
i crave the thrill, the risk, the chaos you bring
my safety net a dangerous way of survival
i thrive in destruction
feel alive only in chaos
and your lips—they reflect my mind
mirror every ache, every want, every dark thought
—
your salvation feels like a revelation
and i know myself well
yet i have no control to stop
faith in fire
proof in pain
you are the cure and the curse
the sin and the salvation
all at once
and i surrender willingly
—
a kiss of death
your lip stain bleeding down the wine glass
my whole body baptized in fear
i won’t accuse you
won’t put a name to the danger
but we both know what time it is
—
and i understand now
that to crave you, to burn for you
is the only way i know i’m alive
the danger, the ache, the fire
it is my salvation
and my surrender is the proof