When did time start feeling real to you? 

I must have been 20. Not that time before wasn’t real, or felt, only 20 was when a lifetime’s accretion of action or inaction or reaction finally hit critical mass and prompted change. Before change was emotion, thoughts, the whole catalog of everything we’re capable of feeling. 

Every time I breathed in, it felt ragged against the raw edges *

Someone tells me our experiences grow like a spiral: as we gain greater breadth we also dig into finer detail & depth *

So the wound grows rings like a tree and fills itself

Some years feel closer spiritually to others 

What do you do that has no clear outcome or utility? 

Sometimes I start talking to someone and it becomes apparent to me there’s something they want to say but only if I’m unafraid to ask. So I turn myself into as perfect as a mirror as I can possibly be and it usually terminates in a confession or confusion. The former feels good to hold. It feels good to hold someone else’s thing they’ve not expressed to anyone else. The latter is a signal for something that isn’t quite worked through yet… A feeling, or a philosophy… I suppose this kind of has a use in that they can make good stories. It’s not material though. I guess I also love tweeting Drake lyrics. 

What’s your relationship to performance? 

Can’t live without putting on a good show. I always had this diva inside me that is also a hyper ultra sensitive barometer for where people’s attention is drifting. A performance will always involve an element of artifice and I think instead of fighting it we should lean into artifice as a device for transcendence. Artifice is like the buffer zone that separates you from the pretences of day -to-day life and gives you the ground to access something deeper or more primal or visceral or what have you. A room full of people feeling & responding to the same thing.. Nothing more powerful.

What feeling(s) do you always seem to chase after? 

Total synchronicity between two people. It could be laughing and laughing, it could be musical call & response, or a convo that has a swinging velocity, or vulnerability & consolations, or building a play scenario and scenarios are flying back & forth, or a squeeeeze in response to a squeeze, or the light in your eye catching the light in theirs, or a total wide openness meets expansive possibility… Every negative space area we like to call nuance, subtext, dynamicism… that’s where the real life force in this existence is. Can’t get enough of the stuff..

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