I’m at my breaking point
drowning in tears I refuse to release
my silence is loud, my shoulders tense
my chest holds grief I never meant
I hold back my tears
again and again
bite down on my tongue
until it bruises within
I wear a mask that fits too well
and no one hears the way I yell
from deep inside where no one sees
I’m aching hard, I’m on my knees
Every morning I watch the sun rise and fall
praying to God without saying it all
Carousel nights blur into dawn
Verlaine glasses clink, and then I’m gone
I chase stillness at the bottom of the drink
searching for answers I can’t even think
Liquor doesn’t hold the truth I crave
just delays the moment I misbehave
I hold back my tears
like it’s second skin
lie to myself
about the state I’m in
I betray my body
just to seem composed
choking on words
I never chose
Change came in like a thief at night
stole the time I needed to get it right
I wasn’t ready, but it didn’t wait
I tried to pause it, but that’s not fate
I’m scared to meet it, but I know I must
I’ve buried myself beneath layers of dust
This isn’t heartbreak, this is self-neglect
my breaking point is me reconnecting with respect
I hold back my tears
but now they burn
they want release
they beg to return
I’m trying to listen to what I’ve ignored
my voice, my truth, the ache I stored
No one left to save or blame
just me and this quiet, calling my name
The bottles ran dry
and so did the lies
the only way out
is through my cries
So let the tears come
let the silence break
I’m holding my tongue
but that was my mistake
Now I’m writing the words
I’ve long denied
the flood is rising
but this time, I won’t hide